Does your writing come across as passive or aggressive, blah or full of action, weak or powerful? Rewrite the following sentences that bother you.
1. The weather outside is nice today.
2. A couple of weeks ago, it snowed, alot.
3. My neighbor shoveled snow, knocked icicles off of trees, and opened a path between mine and his garage.
4. Tired of working, the yard looked pretty all dressed in white.
5. Pleased with the results, nothing would do except a full cup of nice hot coffee.show answers
Val’s Answers to Grammar Quiz #76
1. The weather outside is sunny today. (Define “nice”.)
2. A couple of weeks ago, piles of snow fell all around. (The “it” is evasive and the words are “a lot” [and still evasive]).
3. My neighbor shoveled snow, knocked icicles off of trees, and opened a path between his garage and mine. (Courtesy says to use the other’s pronoun first. Besides we each have our own garage.)
4. Tired of working, the neighbor quit. The yard looked pretty all dressed in white. (Follow an opening phrase with the “who” responsible. “The yard” didn’t do the work!)
5. Pleased with the results, I felt that nothing would do except to offer the neighbor a full cup of rich hot coffee. (Many words missing in the original: who is pleased with the results? and what about that cup of coffee? Always ask yourself, how “nice” is “nice”?)