Val Dumond

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Articles on Writing, Grammar, and Publishing
by Val Dumond

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Val writes articles on grammar, the art and science of writing, and publishing, for budding writers and seasoned authors alike. These articles are not only informative and educational, they're entertaining - written as only Val can. Enjoy this latest of her articles:

Someone to Watch Over Me...
by Val Dumond
© Copyright 2011

Wouldn't it be great if we had someone to tell us what to do - all the time? Sometimes this idea crosses my mind. I wouldn't have to decide what to do first each day. I wouldn't have to choose what to eat. I wouldn't have to select my clothes. I wouldn't have to think about how I prefer to spend my time or who to spend it with.

Oh gracious! My very next thought brings up memories of two parents who did much of that, teachers who took care of other stuff, and then bosses who told me how to earn my living. Remember your "choosers"? What did you do with all that supervision?

You broke as many rules as you could get away with - and a few you probably didn't get away with. It wasn't until years later you figured it out (some of us get so smart so slowly). Those people - others - couldn't possibly know or care about what you wanted. Besides, much of what they told you was untrue.

Go back to the "grammar school" days (grade school, elementary school, hell). Some of the stuff you learned there you have since discovered to be untrue, not exactly the way it is, pure lies!

• Columbus didn't "discover" America - indigenous nations long knew all about it.
• The Universe contains Earth and eight other planets.
• The chemical element valence table numbers 91.

Another of those untrue things involves grammar. Somehow, you picked up the idea there were rules to follow, proper ways to talk and write, that there was a big guru in the sky (or New York or D.C.) who had all the answers to language issues. Sorry, Virginia, that ain't true either! While it's always comfortable to have someone around with all the answers, in grammar you have the opportunity to discover truths for yourself.

Here are some choices for you:

1. When do you capitalize the word "president"?
2. How do you write the abbreviation for anno Domini?
3. Do you add a comma before "and" in a string of three or more?
4. How do you spell that red stuff you pour over hamburgers and fries?

Did you realize you can choose among these things? Or have you spent hours looking it up? And where did you look? The dictionary? Which dictionary? All dictionaries are not alike. Nor are all grammar books.

Perhaps you checked with one of the newspaper style manuals. Of course! They have all the answers. NOT! Each has the answers for their newspaper - not for your writing. You can choose to use one or another of those style manuals, if you like.

But try this first: build your own style manual. When you come to a conundrum in writing or speaking, look at some of the options, then choose for yourself which you prefer. Enter that into Your Style Manual and refer to it the next time you encounter that conundrum.

My answers to the above questions are these - all recorded in Val's Style Manual.

1. Capitalize "president" when referring to the office of the President of the United States; do not capitalize for "the company president" unless it is used as a title: ABC President Joan Armstrong, but not Joan Armstrong, president of ABC.
2. The choices are: a.m./p.m., am/pm, A.M./P.M., or AM/PM. My choice is none of the above. I prefer to use A.M./P.M. in small caps. So there!
3. While this comma is a choice, I use it consistently to avoid the chance of misunderstanding. Those little tailed dots have caused more court cases than necessary.
4. I choose ketchup from the choices: catsup, catchup, katsup, and ketchup.

Here's what happens. You become aware that you can make choices with your language. You record your choices (so you don't have to wonder ever again). And you use your choices consistently.

This consistent business is what got us into our grammar mess. Linguistic gurus pounded their rules into us through unsuspecting teachers, even though the gurus couldn't agree about the rules themselves. You see, U.S. language, while based on British English, includes languages from all around the world. We don't have a built-in U.S. language; we had to develop it. Aren't we clever?

Here's the windup: you can opt to be taken care of and follow one of the grammar gurus, adopting their rules without question. (Which means you'll have to choose which guru!) Or you can take hold of your power with words and begin to make some decisions for yourself. Write it down; be consistent. Easy as that!

WARNING: This article was written by a linguistics guru.
Follow my lead - or not. Your choice!

For more fun with choices and opportunities to ask your questions, check into my blog: grammaranarchist.blogspot.com.

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