Val Dumond

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Articles on Writing, Grammar, and Publishing
by Val Dumond

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Val writes articles on grammar, the art and science of writing, and publishing, for budding writers and seasoned authors alike. These articles are not only informative and educational, they're entertaining - written as only Val can. Enjoy this latest of her articles:

What's the Difference Between Show and Tell?
by Val Dumond
© Copyright 2011

Writers are story tellers. They are constantly being told to "show, don't tell". What exactly does that mean?

Here's a paragraph that tells:

The mother and her grown daughter hadn't spoken in days. Both were holding a grudge against the other. The gloomy weather wasn't helping at all. Both women kept to themselves, the mother busy with her carving, and the daughter occupied with her growing cosmetic business. Their friends realized that something was wrong.

Here are a few paragraphs that show what's happening:

Martha and Gina sat at the café window, gloomily watching the rain turn the parking lot into a gigantic puddle.

"I miss having Annie at our Friday breakfast," Gina said. "She usually adds such sparkle. How is your omelet?"

"Hmmm, good. I love the crab and shrimp mixed with eggs. Makes our Fridays special. Have you talked with her at all? Did you remind her today was Friday?"

"I talked with Annie yesterday and she told me she hadn't heard from Edie since Tuesday."

"Wasn't that the day Edie criticized her mother for butting into her affairs?"

"I think so. She's really down in the dumps. Who wouldn't be with this rain. She said she couldn't join us because she has some wood-carving job she has to finish, and she can't whittle well when she and Edie are having problems."

"I tried to call Edie, and had to leave a message. She's closed three days a week now. Maybe I'll have to make an appointment for a facial to get her attention. Doesn't she know how this affects her mother?"

"Annie has to let that girl live her life? She can't be monitoring her dating habits or her business arrangements."

"It's called getting a life. You don't think that... "

"No, she isn't getting dotty. She just loves that girl so much she can't let go."

"She'll have to learn. Edie is... what now?... thirty-five?"

And so on. When two people are talking, a good writer can make them do all manner of things: "Don't stare out the window; it won't change the weather." OR: "I'll call the server for more coffee. You ready?"

The technique illustrated here shows two people discussing the situation that could possibly involve the lead characters. If this is a story about Annie and Edie, the method of bringing in others to explain the problem to the reader sometimes is stronger than simply telling the reader the behind-the-scenes information.

A similar technique might have either Annie or Gina talking to a friend (to explain her side of the story) or to a pet (who doesn't talk back but lends a friendly ear), or through prayer or... Use your imaginations, writers, and come up with your own gimmick. Most of the time, a conversation enhances a story by providing background.

Writing a story without dialog is much like watching a movie without it. An actor can show only so much emotion or thought process without words. A character-driven story requires dialog. And a well-trained, creative writer can show the reader what is happening through the character's words.

That same writer can raise the senses of the reader by suggesting such things as: "Hmm, that coffee smells great. Want another cup?" OR "Are those real flowers?" "I think so. Yes, I can smell that beautiful fragrance." OR "Maybe we can ask them to turn down the music; I can't hear what you're saying."

Try it both ways - with dialog and without; show your results to another writer (not a relative or close friend) and ask for feedback. Ask: Which is more interesting? Which holds your attention? Which shows what is going on?

Guarantee: your writing will take on new vibrancy (that means "life, energy, radiance").

For more fun with choices and opportunities to ask your questions, check into my blog: grammaranarchist.blogspot.com.

Val has two soon-to-be-published books: The Anarchist's Guide to Grammar and The Creative Instinct. Meanwhile, check her new books on Kindle:

Ahlam's Stories - Stories of life in Iraq as you haven’t seen it. —Love, marriage, children, work and play, pleasures and tragedies, hope and … life— as told through the eyes of a woman who dearly wants the West to know the real Iraq and its people the way it was before…

Elements of Inclusive Language - How to write without excluding others

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