Val Dumond

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I Saw It On the Computer - Go Fish!
by Val Dumond
©2007

Connect, Establish, Verify. Over the past few years I've seen these words probably thousands of times and never noticed. Now I'm noticing, and using them to make a point. They're the words that appear when AOL is taking me online. First it tells me my computer is "connecting", then "establishing:, and finally "verifying" the connection with the Internet.

Always one to over-think things and see meanings behind meanings, I've given some thought to these three parts of the process of "getting online", getting aboard, merging with the universe. Well, at least merging with other people. Communicating! (There's another one of those bland words that can mean many things. I place it on a parallel with, "We'd have won the game if we had scored more.")

CONNECTING is the first act in beginning a relationship of any kind, business or personal. First it's necessary to find someone or something you want in your life and focus on it: There it is! I want that for me!

So what do you do? How do we connect with people or things that are either unfamiliar or outside our immediate control? My guess would be to gather information. Find out more about the person or thing - whether it's a potential new friend, a business partner, or a new gadget. Search. Naturally, the Google process helps here. Other means would include making a telephone call and actually talking to a person.

When I decided to write an article on a certain subject, I called the editor of the kind of magazine that I thought could use the piece. I actually talked to a person. And lo and behold, I received some good information and a few tips about selling that article. I learned right then that people, especially experts, authorities, and celebrities, love to be asked for advice. (Well, maybe not people like Oprah or Jon Stewart who are so big they don't even read their own mail.)

ESTABLISHING comes next. Very similar to the fun of trout fishing, you throw out the line where you think there's a fish (that you want to connect with). Then you feel a tug and you tug back to "establish" a relationship with... yes, a fish! (I'm not great on metaphors.) In buusiness or personal relationships, the "establishing" would be to give up some of yourself to build an area of trust. With editors, you need to demonstrate both knowledge of a subject and an ability to write.

Setting the hook is the part that must be handled very delicately (unless you're doing hard selling, which, incidentally, falls into the same CEV process). Great care is needed to build slowly, which is why connections with Oprah or Jon don't work - there's no personal contact, no foundation for building. With a talking editor or a new friend, there is time to go through the stages of inquiry (data research), casual conversation, and development of trust.

VERIFYING is the final process in business, friendships, even writing. There are leaps to be taken in the building of trust. You have made contact, you have developed background, and now the next step is leaping into belief. (Yes, trouts leap!) It's that old, "If you can believe it, you can achieve it" thing. At this point, a friendship, new job or assignment, or piece of writing can be regarded as an "entity" - a new part of your life that exists.

Verifying is not questioning what has happened. It's pulling in the fish and enjoying it. It's finding a new friend to play with; it's finding a new job to revel in; it's finding new challenges at work; it's discovering the value of your words on paper. This is where it all happens. Like finally getting online and knowing that all the information in the world is right there in front of you.

Maybe that's what life is all about: Connecting, Establishing, and Verifying. At least, that's one way to put it!

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